Alone
by DireSphinx
Summary: You've left me all alone my dear, you've left me here to cry. You've left me all alone my dear without a word goodbye.


Don't own Detective Conan. I can't come up with enough murder scenarios, so they refused to let me claim it for my own.

This one is slightly angsty, and I'm not quite sure how I feel about it. But it wouldn't leave me alone, so there you go.

* * *

How long's it been? One month? Two? I don't remember when I last heard your voice. Funny. I remember every word you've ever said, every tear I've ever cried, but I can't remember when you last called. It must have been a while.

The words, your words, aren't hard to recollect. "Take care of yourself, stay out of trouble." Every now and then the phrase I ache to hear: "I miss you." I haven't heard that phrase in a long time.

It's been even longer since I received a letter. Your letters are rare, but they're better than nothing at all. I know you're a complete Neanderthal with a computer. Hate the things with a passion. So there's no way to instant message you. Not a chance of receiving an email. And really, who doesn't have email these days? Obviously you.

I have no way to reach you. You left me with no number, no address. You travel around so much that I have no idea where you might be. Even if I knew where you were today, there's no certainty that you'd be there tomorrow.

Would it hurt you too much to just pick up a god-damned phone and call?

I miss your voice. I think I'm forgetting it. I remember your words - heck, I was always good with words, but I'm forgetting your sound, your breath. You. I'm afraid I won't recognize you the next time you call.

If you call.

Pretty pathetic huh? I've been nearly killed, involved in who knows how many murder cases, seen way too many mangled corpses, and what terrifies me is not knowing your voice. I'm something alright. A real piece of work. Pretty shoddy work, liable to break at the slightest touch, but still hanging on for some unknown reason. No wonder you don't call. I probably wouldn't call, if it was me.

But still, I wish you would. It might stop my tears.

Before I met you, I never used to cry. Oh sure, I wailed and shed tears over silly things, but it was a one-time deal. Cry about the injustice of it all, the unfairness of life, why it had to happen to me. But once I had my pity party, I moved on. I never looked back.

Now I'm stuck in quicksand, facing the wrong direction. I can't get out, I can't turn around. Every movement brings more sand, and drags me deeper into the pits. They go on for miles, and no one hears me screaming. I'm about hoarse. No one's coming to rescue me. Pretty soon I'll be in over my head.

But when I think I'm done, that there's no way out, this is it, you call. All of a sudden there's your hand waving in front of my face, grabbing onto my arm and hauling me out of this hell. I can breathe again. You're standing in front of me, holding on to me. I can reach you, touch you. If I just stretch out my hand...

Then you disappear from my fingertips at the dial tone. Blow away like leaves in the wind. My mouth opens in a scream, and I start running after you. After the broken scattered bits that remain in my sight. The sands suck at my legs, greedily demanding that I descend once more. But I can't. I have to find you. You can't leave me again. I don't want to be alone.

But you're always just out of my reach. A hand's breadth away, so tantalizingly close. If I can just latch on, grab something I think, then this could end. But you're always that inch away. It might as well be a mile.

I never catch you. I'm beginning to think I never will.

And now the sands are dragging me down again. Will you call and pull me out once more? Save me from my demise? Be my knight in shining armor and make my spirits rise with expectation, joy, hope?Then run off and leave me to drown anew? I don't know how much more I can take. The cycle needs to end.

I want you to save me. I want to be in your arms, hear your voice. Listen to you tell me you've missed me, that you're here for good. You won't let me sink anymore. I want it so much I can taste it. Taste the salty tears that cry out for salvation from the depths of my soul. I'm choking on them, drowning in their desire. A desire for you.

But I can't hold on to hope for much longer. Every time you leave me rends another bloody tear from my heart. Soon there won't be anything left. A heart can only cry so many tears before it dries up. I don't want to lose mine that way.

Save me please. Save me from the pain, the anguish, the bloody, bloody tears. You have the power.

Save me with your call, or let me drown. Just stop killing my heart.

Please.

* * *

I left this ambiguous, so feel free to substitute in the female lead of your choice. I figure this can fit either Ran or Sonoko because both have slightly long-distance boyfriends. When does Sonoko really get to see her beau? And we all know Ran's problem. But I've only read halfway through the manga so for all I know, Sonoko's boyfriend might be living next door now. Which totally screws up the story from her mindset, but that's how it goes.

Hope you enjoyed it!


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